One Night Stand
by The Potions Mistress
Summary: Harry laments over a certain someone, Hermione and the Gryffindor gals cheer him up with their redition of "Lady Marmalade". Please Read and Review. Thanks!


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of his friends. Unfortunately, they belong to J.K. Rowling. (I'll cry me a river :…o( Lady Marmalade belongs to Christina Aguilera, Pink, Lil' Kim and Mya, but they stole it from Patti LeBelle. Enjoy!  
  
  
  
Hermione Granger arrived in the Gryffindor common room from studying in the library at about 9:00, slumping into one of the plush couches by the fire. She was so tired that she did not notice the figure beside her until he became apparent in her perifieral vision. She jumped slightly, just from surprise that she had not seen him immediately. "Hey Harry."  
  
Harry Potter was leaning with his head against the end of the couch, his arm dangling over the side as he stared into the flames. "Harry?" Hermione asked again, "What's wrong?"  
  
He sighed. "Not much. It's just that… well… I can't get her out of my mind. I close my eyes and there she is. Her image is burned inside my head." He blinked and rubbed his nose with the sleeve of his robe.  
  
"Oh." Hermione deadpanned, "I see we're still on THAT." She crossed her arms and legs.  
  
Harry raised his head slightly and gave her a harsh look. "What? At least you got to have a relationship with the guy you like. Mine pretty much constituted to a… well…"  
  
"A one night stand?" Hermione finished. Frankness at short notice was her specialty.  
  
"If you wanna be blunt about it, yes." Harry grumbled.  
  
"Well, I do." Said Hermione indignantly, "For heaven's sake Harry, she's two years older than you and a Ravenclaw, just let it go."  
  
"I can't," he cried, "it's making me sick. Why would she do this? Why would she kiss me one night, tempt me to the Ravenclaw common room the next, and not know me the third?" He placed his hands in his lap.  
  
"Well, if you were a pretty girl and the most powerful young wizard in the world had a crush on you, wouldn't you mess with his mind a little?"  
  
Harry turned to stare at Hermione, his eyeglasses catching the light and glinting like dual rings of fire. "Hermione," he breathed, "that's downright cruel. Why would she want to do that to me? Why would anyone want to do that?"  
  
"Power," Hermione suggested, "fame for her. No one ever said that Cho was a nice person." Hermione knew she'd hit home with that one.  
  
Harry groaned and fell back onto his arm. "She's not bad Herm, don't beat her up." His voice was dripping with denial.  
  
"No, you don't beat yourself up." She rose slowly from the couch and stretched her arms. "I was hoping we wouldn't have to use this but you leave me no choice." She walked briskly to the staircase.  
  
"What?" Said Harry, turning around in his seat, "What are you talking about?"  
  
"Me, and Lav, and Pavarti, and Gin felt bad for you during Potions today so we wrote a song for you."  
  
"WHAT!" He was on his feet. "You TOLD them!" His face was twisted with anger.  
  
Hermione rolled her eyes, "Please, Harry, they already knew. Gossip spreads around this school like a rash." She stuck her head in the stairwell, "You guys," she called, we're gonna do the song."  
  
At once a pounding sound echoed through the hall and 3 girls came pouring down the steps. "Oh, wow, really?" Lavender Brown was clapping her hands with excitement, "He asked us to do it?"  
  
"No," replied Hermione, "I told him that we are because he needs some cheering up, big time." The four girls walked to the center of the room. "Sit." She instructed Harry, pointing to an arm chair facing into the room. He obliged.  
  
"Now," she said turning to the other girls, "do you all remember your parts?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm first." spoke Ginny Weasley mild-mannerdly.  
  
"Then me." Said Lavender. She was practically jumping up and down with anticipation.  
  
"I'm third." Added Pavarti Patil, throwing her black locks behind her shoulder.  
  
"Right." Hermione nodded, "and I'm last. Don't forget your lines or anything." The four girls turned and faced Harry, who stiffened in his chair. He did not have a good feeling about forthcoming events.  
  
Pavarti cleared her throat and began:  
  
"Where's all my soul sisters? Let me hear you flow sisters."  
  
Then the three other girls chimed in:  
  
1 "Hey sister, go sister, soul sister, flow sister…"  
  
With a flick of her wand, music pumped through the room from an unknown source.  
  
"Hey sister, go sister, soul sister, flow sister."  
  
"He met Lady Cho down at old Hogwarts school,"  
  
Ginny's voice had a light, sweet quality to it.  
  
"Strutting her stuff on her broom.  
  
He said 'Hello, hey Cho,  
  
You wanna give it a go?' oh.  
  
Gitchi, gitchi ya ya da da  
  
Gitchi gitchi ya ya hee  
  
Mocha chocolotta ya ya  
  
Raven-lady Cho Chang."  
  
Harry grinned as the other girls came back in.  
  
2 "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?  
  
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?"  
  
Harry had heard a little French from Dudley who was taking the class and liked to say nasty things about Harry in it. He tried to translate in his head. Do you want to… sleep with… What? Is that what they were trying to say? Harry didn't have too much time to think because Lavender was stepping front and center.  
  
"He sat in the common room, while she freshened up."  
  
Harry cringed at Lavender's screechy voice. She was singing a range not entirely suitable for her. Come to think of it, singing itself was not entirely suitable for her.  
  
"Boy drank all that pumpkin juice.  
  
Oh, her blue satin robes  
  
Just made his heart beat yeah.  
  
Gitchi, gitchi ya ya da da  
  
Gitchi gitchi ya ya hee  
  
Mocha chocolotta ya ya  
  
Raven-lady Cho Chang."  
  
Harry rubbed his ears, glad that the barn old had stopped screeching.  
  
3 "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?  
  
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?"  
  
Pavarti stepped to the center and began her rap:  
  
4 "Yeah, yeah uh  
  
He come through with the sickles and the pretty things,  
  
Let 'em know we 'bout that fame, playin' the game.  
  
She an independent woman, some mistake her for a whore,  
  
She sayin' why spend mine, when I can spend yours?  
  
Disagree? Well that's you and I'm sorry,  
  
But she's gonna keep playin' you, boy, like Atari,  
  
Wear her hair all a touse, she's quiet as a mouse  
  
She's one badass chick, from Ravenclaw house.  
  
Hey sisters, soul sisters,  
  
Look out below sisters,  
  
She drink pumpkin juice with galleons in the glass,  
  
By the case, talk about expensive taste.  
  
She wanna Gitchi gitchi ya ya,  
  
Mocha chocolotta,  
  
Raven-lady Cho Chang."  
  
Harry had no idea that Pavarti could rap. She was actually pretty good. And some of the things she said were making him think…  
  
Pavarti, Lavender and Ginny were singing together:  
  
5 "Cho Chang…  
  
Lady Cho Chang…  
  
Cho Chang…"  
  
6 "Hey, hey, heyyyyyyyyy"  
  
Hermione had stepped forward to begin her part and her voice hit Harry like a 50- pound weight. He had never heard Herm sing and was shocked at the power she produced.  
  
7 "The touch of her skin feelin' silky smooth, oh  
  
Color of fizzing whizbees, alright,  
  
Made the Horntail inside,  
  
Roar till he cried,  
  
More, more, mooooooor."  
  
"Now he's in class doin' 9 to 5." Lavender crooned.  
  
"Livin' the black work robe life," Added Ginny.  
  
Hermione was back again:  
  
"But when he turns off to sleep memories creep,  
  
more, more moooooooor"  
  
All four girls burst back into the chorus.  
  
"Gitchi, gitchi ya ya da da  
  
Gitchi gitchi ya ya hee  
  
Mocha chocolotta ya ya  
  
Raven-lady Cho Chang.  
  
8 "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?  
  
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?  
  
9 Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?  
  
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?  
  
Come on, uh"  
  
HERMIONE ("Hogwaaaaarrrts, oh")  
  
LAVENDER ("Laayday Cho Chaaang.)  
  
PAVARTI ("Hey, Hey, uh uh uh uh uh uh uh)  
  
GINNY ("Oh oh ohh")  
  
10 "RAVEN LADY CHO CHAAAANG, OOH OOH OH YESSSSSAH!"  
  
The girls flailed their arms in a finishing pose. Harry grinned and clapped. "That was great," he said, "You guys really wrote that song just for me?"  
  
"Uh yeah," said Hermione, looked shiftily at her comrades.  
  
"Like totally," Added Lavender. All the girls nodded vigorously.  
  
"That's really nice of you guys." Harry was beaming even wider than before. "You've all got a point. She's a temptress and I need to let her go." He looked at the ground and his smile softened. "Easier said then done, but I'll give it a shot. Thanks a lot."  
  
"No problem." Replied Ginny, a slight smile curving her face.  
  
Harry jumped from his chair. "I think I'll go find Ron and see if his detention with Snape is done. Too bad he had to miss this really…" Harry bounded to the portrait hole and slowly crept out.  
  
The four girls just stared after him for a moment, then at each other and burst into giggles. "Do you think we should tell him that we stole it from Moulin Rouge?" questioned Pavarti.  
  
Hermione shrugged and shook her head. "Nah. He won't know what it is anyway…" 


End file.
